Story Time: The End of Innocence/Humanity

How many people does it take to change a light bulb? First you must wonder how many people it takes to create a light bulb.

You've got the glass outside, which takes some degree of skill to blow. In this day and age, I'm sure a machine has been taught to blow the glass, but that only makes it easier for machine to ultimately take over if they can lord over our light.

Filaments are also key in making a light bulb, but they're little more than a few wires twisted around. At least, as far as I can tell they are.

As I recall, I used to make people out of pipe cleaners in kindergarten, so I'm sure a few five-year-olds have been forcibly employed to make a few million circus tight ropes.

If the light bulbs are made on US soil, though, the five-year-olds may not be forcibly employed, which begs the question of unionization. If these children were to form a group, they too could lord light bulbs over us in the end times of humanity.

The scariest thought will be when the five-year-olds and the machines ultimately group together to form an army of prepubescent cyborgs. These hairless androids may spell doom for us, as they demand juice and our bodies for their giant robotic power consumption needs.

Ultimately, we'll concede our humanly empire to these young death devices, but will they truly be happy? Perhaps they'll spare the Eric Carls and Teletubbies of the world to entertain their simple microchipped minds.

Children, children, what do you hear? I hear apocalypse screaming in my ear.