Wrapped Up in Juice

I am a human being who just imbibed a certain amount of alcohol that makes me a Super Smash Bros Brawl warrior. That may or may not be important, but I find it to be an important discovery. It seems that as the amount of fermented yeast in my system increases, so to does my hand eye coordination. Unfortunately, it also increases my general stupidity as well as ability to vomit.

Suppose, however, I was able to find the golden ratio of alcohol to stupidity that would revert my to animal-like qualities. I could become an unstoppable force of physical determination and judgment. Others would not be able to best me in feats of dexterity or physical manipulation. They would, very easily best me in terms of memory and intelligence, however. So, would I be able to realize what terms my challenges were to come to if made?

I suppose finding the golden ratio solves this problem, but I can't necessarily know that being at the proper ratio means that I'll be able to understand much and what few I would comprehend would most probably not be very well understood.

But the fact that I'm able to know enough about my current state makes me wonder that if being "inhibited" is really all as inhibited as it is cracked up to be. That is, after drinking as much as I have, which really isn't a lot, should I really be able to sit down and break my physiological being into the parts I am?

I'm not a wonder of insight right now, as should be shown by the general misappropriation of words and sentences in this diatribe of my current state, but the simple truth of my typing it should prove something about my cognitive abilities. I'm no slouch, though I do have a general slumping.

Luckily I am getting a massage tomorrow. A free massage. My slumping should be adjusted into a mild lumbar disruption, which can be cured with peppermint tea and intercourse.

My god I love peppermint tea.